Date: 22 September 2016
This time, I dreamed about several stuff at once. I kept on jumping from one scene to another, so I do not really have a great material to update my dream journal. The dream was not really remarkable, either, because it left me nothing but questions out of confusion. I will only tell you the two major scene I remember; The Snake and MIKA.
I was in the woods, or in the middle of bushes (I guess), with a friend of mine. I am not quite sure who it was, but I am sure she is my close friend. I also do not quite remember what we were doing there; maybe we were just having an afternoon walk, or just wander around a new place, or tried to look for something we have lost. She and I were walking through a rocking small path with bushes surrounding it while looking down as if I was watching my steps.
Later that I know, a small yellow-ish snake came to us and bit me on my right ankle. I was scared because, judging from the size and colour, it was a tree snake — and I know how poisonous a tree snake is. I fell down on the ground and felt a small sting on my right foot. My friend was trying to give me some help, but the dream ends there and I jumped into a different scene.
After jumping through one or two dreams, I found myself walking in the middle of a small street in an unfamiliar neighbourhood. The neighbourhood was really quiet as if no one lives there — but the houses were clean and nicely placed on the side of the street, so they left me nothing but a calm atmosphere. I realized that I was walking with different friends, there were three of them. I do not remember who they were, but their faces are familiar; which means they are people whom I meet very often.
As we walked through the neighbourhood, I walked pass around four people who were chatting while standing on the side of the street. I turned my head to one person who is taller than everyone around him and asked myself whether I know him or not. That guy had the weirdest face features I have ever seen — and quite scares me at that time — his eyes were widely open like his eyes were about to pop out of their place, his face was so skinny like he never eat in his entire life, his skin was a bit brownish than most caucasian I know, and his hair was black and puffy and curly — but not an afro.
I was not sure who it was until one of my friends pointed out that it was MIKA. She told me to approach him, since it was one in a lifetime chance, but I refused because I found him trapped in a serious conversation with three other people. As I explained to her how I do not like to bother other people’s conversation, we walked through the neighbourhood and ended up having lunch in a small restaurant.
It was not a restaurant, really. It was just an eating place that was built in a garage. The place was nice, by the way, with small tables and chairs, not too roomy and not too crowded, was not that hot since the owner put a medium-size tarpaulin up front to hamper the sun, and we were their only customers during that time so we can have a talk without anyone disturbs us.
Not long after we ordered our meal, MIKA came and sat not so far from our table, along with his three fellas. Then, again, my friends muttered as they told me to approach him once again. They pointed out that he was in his free time and it was a good chance for me to greet him. I agreed with them, but I felt like it was wrong to say hello to him with an empty hand. So, I pulled out my pen from my bag and start to write on a piece of tissue paper. The gift is not so good since it was my last minute idea, but it deserves a shot.
As soon as I finish, I stood up and walked towards him with a piece of tissue paper in my hand. He noticed my presence as I walked to him and looked at me with confusions covering his eyes. I did not really care about that. What I care about that time was to not ruin that special opportunity by having an anxiety attack. MIKA is my idol and I adore him very much, so I do not want to ruin my image in front of him by looking like a deranged stalker bitch.
I stood up in front of him, then handed the stuff I wrote earlier to him. After he received that piece of tissue paper, I turned around and was about to go back to where I belong. But, I jumped into a scene where I sat in one table with him, along with my three friends sitting right next to me. They handed him their gift as they claimed that they are also his fans — while they are not.
I can see how he was more interested reading the stuff I wrote instead of looking at my friends’ gift. His face was really serious that he slowly turn into the regular MIKA I know; his dark brown hair, rectangle face, pale skin, stupid buck teeth, and bright brownish eyes. He read it quite a long time until he stopped and looked at me with a very confusing sight (I have never seen such sight from anyone, ever).
The piece of tissue paper was tightly gripped in his right hand, “What do you expect from me after reading this?” he said.
I was really confused by what he meant. It took me about a minute before I can answer his question. One of my friends saw the confusion in my face. He leaned to me then said, “He meant, what do you want in return for that letter? He found your writing really touching and he does not know what to give to you as a thank you.“
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Nah, I do not expect anything from you, to be really honest. I just want to write that and give it to you.“
After I explain that to him, it got me thinking, What did I write to him? Why is that touching? I thought I only wrote some usual fan letter and nothing much. And what did he mean by returning the favour? Did he actually ask me what I want from him? Man, at times like this I do not know what I want or expect from people who are willing to give me what I want. Well, fair enough because I was not hoping to get anything other than a decent conversation with him.
That question really trapped me in a zone where I think so hard about what I want from him. I expected a lot of things after he asked that; I want to be his friend in order to know him better, I want him to remember me as I am, and other unspeakable wishes in my head. He was still sitting in front of me, but I refuse to claim my wishes and stick to my first decision: not expect anything from him.
I woke up and still have no recollection of what I wrote to him…