I’m a kind of guy who would literally rant about my fucked up life in the middle of the night. I’m not really proud of being fucked up. But, being fucked up is really enjoyable for me. Maybe it’s because I enjoy emotional pain. Hahaha.. Yeah, this is the first time I would rant and whine about being fucked up. So if you’re not a fan of my whining or ranting, just stop reading this post. Because this post will only filled with whining. Kyle the whining little bitch.
I talked to Cathy just now on Skype and hoping I can get this thing out of my chest. But it turns out, Cathy also have the same fucked up mind as I am. So we ended up ranting about each other’s fucked up feelings and life. No, I’m not regretting it.. turns out, I enjoy it. Because I feel comfortable with that kind of conversation. It makes me feel less whiny when I talk to her. Because we both rant and whine. Usually I get this listener-type of person and I feel like I whine a lot when I talk to them. Probably it’s because the ranting only goes one-way instead of two-way like me and Cath do.
Sometimes, I wish Cath doesn’t have to go to Japan to finish her college study. I wish she stays in Indonesia, so whenever we’re fucked up, I can always invite her over to my house and have a ranting, fucked-up people party. There will be beer and cigarettes and just two people ranting about their life. I know, it’s not healthy, so don’t try this unless you’re old enough to put some boundaries in your ranting.
Me and Cath are basically the same person. We share the same state of mind. We have principles we follow and we both respect vows and promises so much. That’s why, we know, when we meet, and when we have this ranting party, we wont go far beyond our boundaries. That’s why, I know it’s safe for us to be together in the same room with alcohol and cigs. Because we wont be abusive like other people do.
It’s kinda hard for me to find a friend like Cath. I mean, a friend that have boundaries and I can trust. Trust in ‘not groping me while I’m tipsy’ kind. I had friends for that and it’s just not working for me because some bad things happened back then. Yeah, things like ‘nyari kesempatan dalam kesempitan’ kind. So, since I met Cath, I dont really invite those kind of friends again unless it’s urgent.
Being an alcoholic and a hardcore smoker is bad. I’m not really recommend this because I know most of my readers are below legal age to smoke and to drink. I’m above 21, so I know boundaries in drinking more than most of my readers do. So kids, do not drink to screw away your problems. If you’re below 21, you dont know boundaries in drinking.. so it’s not safe for you. Trust me, you’ll regret it. And, besides, you wont look cool doing it. When you do that, all we (people above 21) see is only a bunch of kindergarten kids getting high on apple juice. Which means, you look ridiculous while doing it.
I know, being 17 and below doesn’t mean you have a so-so problem.. well, that’s what you think, sih. I know a lot of 17 year-olds and their problem look very complicated because you are 17. When you grow older, those shits you’ve been ranting about seem so stupid and you’ll feel like you wanna hit the 17 year-old you. Trust me, I’ve been there. And you’ll feel stupid for drinking just to avoid your 17 year-old problems.
Okay, that’s my ranting. Jangan dicontoh, ya. Kalo mau dicontoh juga, ya udah.. risiko ditanggung masing-masing.