Today.. I lost a friend. We barely knew each other, but we already share a lot of things. It’s only been a month or so, though. But, still.. we shared a lot of things and he helped me a lot. I owe him that much. And seeing him gone like that is not really easy for me. But I just hate to be emotional. So the only thing I said to him before he goes was, “Thanks for everything, Bro”.
He’s a kind of a cold guy.. but he’s very warm inside. We spent our first 3 weeks talking on skype after midnight to talk about shit while smoking our lungs out. I shared a lot of things with him and he’d be this brengsek guy who will tell me the truth about my feelings and my personality.. which is 90% true. I kinda ask for advice to him and he’ll respond. This son of a bitch is a good listener.. and thinking that he’s not going to be around anymore is just.. wow.
I’m not sad. To be honest, I don’t even know what to feel. I just feel numb. I don’t even know what to do for tomorrow.. it feels like tomorrow doesn’t exist.
Me and him is practically the same person. It’s just, I’m very open and retarded and I can show my love to people. And he’s the kind of guy who’d just stay quiet and be cold as fuck. He’s very warm inside, but so cold outside. He can feel love, but he won’t show it.
I owe him that much. He actually helped me a lot to get together with his twin. But.. it’s just.. ever since I dated his twin, he rarely talk to me. And I just knew right away that something’s wrong with him. I can just feel he’s getting weaker and weaker and weaker.. day by day. I asked about this a lot, but he’d just say, “Of course I’m getting weaker.. I’m sick, bitch!”. Well, I thought that it was only cold.. but it turns out to be much much worse.
…ahh, I’m gonna miss him so much. There will be no “‘Sup, bitch!” from him again. Hahahaha
There will be no him.
Ah, I’m losing my mood.