Do you know the feeling when you’re relaxing or doing your thing in public area and suddenly you hear screaming children and their parents do nothing about it? Dont you just want to murder their children? Unfortunately, it’s against the law. But luckily, me and Uncle Voldie had come up with some things to say to these ignorant parents.

  1. “Mbak, baru pertama kali pelihara monyet liar?”
  2. “Saya punya temen pelatih hewan liar, kalau Mbak masih belum berpengalaman, anaknya bisa dimasukin ke karantina.”
  3. “Kalau Mbak nggak bisa nenangin anaknya, saya punya golok, kok.”
  4. “Tolong tenangkan anak anda sebelum saya jadikan persembahan buat setan.”
  5. “Kalau anda nggak bisa menenangkan anak-anak anda, boleh saya jual organ-organ mereka ke pasar gelap?”
  6. “Apa anda bisa menenangkan anak anda? Saya saudaranya Sumanto.”
  7. “Saya beri peringatan pertama untuk mendiamkan anak-anak anda sebelum mereka saya lempar dari lantai 11.”
  8. “Pantes jadi gendut habis punya anak, anaknya nggak diurusin.”
  9. “Bu, anak-anak itu mahal loh, kalau dijual ke luar negeri.”
  10. Tidak ada tindakan. Silakan siram orang tua anak-anak itu dengan oli panas.

Merasa annoyed nggak sih, kalau ngeliat anak-anak jerit-jerit dan nggak bisa diem di tempat umum? Apalagi kalau orang tuanya nggak ngapa-ngapain. Ditambah lagi pas diingetin, “maklum Mas, namanya juga anak-anak”. Aku bisa aja gorok leher anak mereka dan bilang, “maklum Bu, namanya juga manusia yang merasa terganggu”.

Kadang, orang tua yang males ngediemin anaknya bakal bertindak dan berkata begitu. Aku sih, karena segala tindakan yang kupikirkan umumnya adalah illegal, jadi cuma bisa lapor manager dan minta biar mereka diusir. Yaah, namanya juga costumer. Kalau costumernya merasa terganggu, masa managernya nggak melakukan apa-apa?

Orang tuanya udah capek? Ya bodo amat. Namanya juga punya anak, ya pasti capek. Kalau nggak mau capek, ya nggak usah bikin anak. Pikir bikin anak cuma tau enaknya doang. Pas bikinnya mah, emang enak. Tapi pas udah mbrojol, emang siap ngurusin ini-itu? Urusan anak itu bukan cuma popok, loh. Ngajarin tata krama di tempat umum (nggak boleh jerit-jerit, nggak boleh lari-larian, nggak boleh mengganggu orang) juga termasuk parenting/ngurus anak. Kalau anaknya bisa jerit-jerit di tempat umum dan orang tuanya nggak ngapa-ngapain, i call it lazy parenting. Cuma tau ‘begituan’nya aja. Ngurus hasil akhirnya nggak becus.

 

Kadang yang bikin prihatin juga anak-anak yang dikasih iPad dan alat-alat elektronik lainnya. Itu namanya bukan sayang, tapi bikin anak celaka. Anak di umur-umur balita itu harusnya jejeritan di taman sama temen-temennya. Bukannya disuruh duduk ngansos di pojok ruangan.

Ada juga yang sengaja ngasih iPad biar anaknya nggak pecicilan. I also call it lazy parenting. Saking malesnya, sampai-sampai nyuruh anaknya buat jadi autis. Kalau anak kecil udah fokus ke satu hal kan, udah kayak anak autis; Dipanggil nggak nyaut, disuruh makan nggak mau, iPad nya diambil malah jejeritan. Nambah masalah aja.

Jadi orang tua itu harus mengajarkan kedisiplinan waktu. Kalau waktunya makan, ya makan. Nggak ada makan sambil main iPad, ngomong panjang lebar, apalagi nonton. Ajarin anak-anak buat cuci tangan dan berdoa sebelum makan. Ajarin tata cara makan yang baik dan benar. Paksa anak buat mematuhi segala tata krama di meja makan (table manner). Jadikan anak anda berkelas, bukannya jadi autis.

 

Menjadi orang tua itu emang susah. Nggak ada yang gampang jadi orang tua.. capek. Masa situ kalah sama orang tua anda? Saya rasa, kalau anda bisa duduk di restoran sama anak-anak anda, anda nggak datang dari keluarga macem-macem. Dan anda jadi diri anda yang sekarang pasti karena didikan keras orang tua anda.

.

Oke, jadi kuingatkan sekali lagi.. kalau aku nemuin anak kalian jejeritan di dekatku, aku nggak segan-segan buat melakukan sesuatu yang illegal. Setelah kuperingatkan, tentunya. Berharap aja aku cukup sabar untuk memberi peringatan. #bukan

And unattended children will be given 5 shots of Espresso and made wild promises for their birthday.

 

 

dah, salam gaul.

ciao!

6 thoughts on “What You Should Say (Parenting)

  1. Do I inspired you to make this post? Hahaha :p
    I’ve gone through a lot of experince like this. Sometimes I just feel like I want to throw the kids away. Or just kill the parents. Good for them it’s illegal to kill people in this country. If it’s legal to kill people I will put a gun in their head & just pull the trigger happily. *evil*

    About the technology/gadget, someday, when I have kids, I promise my self I will never buy them any hi-tech gadget before they turn 10. They have to learn how hard to survive in my era of childhood, with no gadget. But I think, as 90s kid, we learned a lot from traditional games, and we can be as happy as today’s kids with their gadget, even more happier. By giving kids gadget, I personally think it makes them anti-social & get drown in their own world, world with gadget. Pathetic.

    Me personally, I’d rather avoid going out with public transportation if I knew that my kids get fussy so easily. In other words, I need a rich guy (but also kind) to be the right daddy for my kids so he can afford me private vehicle complete with the private driver. Hahaha najong amat ya gue? :))

    Well, after all, kids are just kids. By the age of 4-5 they seek for more attention so they get fussy like all the time & sometimes cry/yell for no reason. I don’t blame them, I blame it on the parents.

    Ps: sorry to annoy you with my super mega long comment, Kyle. πŸ˜€ Loving your blog! :beer:

    Like

    1. hahaha, hello Besty. yes, you inspired me to make this blog. thank you! hahaha

      this is the longest comment i’ve ever got. seriously, you’re the first person who is rajin enough to write this comment. hahaha. most people (i guess) would just, ‘this man is crazy. i’ll just put a short comment and make sure he wont bite’.

      about tech world etc, i think it is matter because we live in a different era right now. but it doesnt mean we have to let our kids enjoy our hard work easily. i would make my children to suffer before get what they want. #terribleFather

      kids are fussy. but it doesnt mean their parents can lay off their responsibility to teach their kids about manners, like “dont yell in public area, it’ll bother other people”. fussy is their thing.. and make them stop fussing around is parents responsibility.

      hahaha..

      Like

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